kids

How To Be A Dad

Being a dad is a slightly weird. Perhaps, as I’ve spent 30 of my first 33 years being a son and not a dad, I’m just new to the process.

Sometimes I think I’m supposed to act a certain way: “dad-like.” And then I think, “nah, just be awesome to your boys, man” and that’s what I do.

Odd requests like this from kids are pretty common. I’m all like, “hey, this coffee mug isn’t a hat!?” and they’re all like, “Daddy’s silly, that’s not a hat! Mommy! Daddy’s funny!” And I’m all, “Hahaha, clearly I know this isn’t a hat – but this is!” and then I put a tube of diaper butt cream on my head.

Needless to say, my wife is incredibly proud when I do this sort of thing in public.

Kids are great.

Edit: the above was posted 5 years ago on another of blogs, so I’ve learned quite a bit more over that time. Here are a few of the highlights:

  • Sometimes, kids just need a hug when they need a hug, not when you want a hug. Those are the best hugs.
  • Being asked an infinite amount of questions is an honor (never a bother)- they think you’re that smart. Don’t hesitate to say you don’t know and then work to find the answer together.
  • Gut laughs are the best laughs. Finding a genuinely silly thread, and then pulling it just right until you get them having hiccups, that’s where it’s at.
  • Getting them to like new foods like, snow crab, steak, and lobster, is always a double-edged sword. You’re happy for broadening their horizons, but damn did you just lose half your snow crab for life.
  • They don’t say “are we there yet” as much as I would have imagined. Though they do have a DVD player, and I was lucky to have a comic book.
  • After one of your kids drops his pants and craps in your neighbor’s yard like the dog, little else will surprise you.
  • They’re going to love mom more than you. That’s more than ok, and perfectly natural. We each have roles, and I know what mine is. There’ll be a time when I’m the go-to, and I can totally wait for that moment.

 

You Can Never Go Home Again…

There’s something great about that. You lived it once and that’s all you’re going to get it. God! You wish maybe you could go back and do that one thing differently and yet…

Don’t do that.

It happened. And it’s great. Or not. Doesn’t really matter at this point. It happened and that’s that.

So what’s the take away? What now?

You know that this isn’t how it ends. You know you’ve likely got (god willing) another 40-50-80 years to finish this run. How does your earlier experience influence your future behavior?

I miss old friends with the gravity of a dwarf star. Hell, I miss current friends the same. I don’t want to go through that again. I know what I want my future to look like: I want to look back and see myself reading to my kids after a LONG day. So, I read to them after a LONG day. I want to look back and see that I took the chances I needed to in order to start my own thing – because that’s what was needed to be happy. I didn’t “wait” because something was going to “happen” – whenever that is.

2002 was awesome. I’d love to spend a week there. So was 93′ and 05′ but that doesn’t mean we can live in space we already did. We have a new one of those every moment – RIGHT NOW. So what do you want your future self to say about this moment.

Would you want to go back to “right now?”