I recall hearing ages ago that rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power. At first it seems counter-intuitive, but then quickly makes sense. The horrible people committing these acts are attempting to gain something they lack – power.
Simon Sinek (Who I’ve written about often) says in the clip below that school shootings are a new endeavor (16 years since Columbine) that are based entirely on loneliness. And that necessarily, our new technologically connected society is helping to create that sense of loneliness.
The true irony of the connected age: It’s never been easier to connect with anyone in the world and yet it’s never been more difficult to connect with your neighbor.
I don’t know if you’re old enough to recall Columbine, but in the immediate aftermath the media blamed just about anything not nailed down: Marilyn Manson, violent video games, violent movies, the list goes on. Given the fact nothing like that had happened before, SOMETHING had to be responsible. That same fall I’d started a psychology class in Gainesville and we must have debated the cause for a week and I don’t recall anyone ever blaming loneliness. To hear it now, it seems equal parts obvious and ground breaking – a paradox wrapped up in a centuries-old stone tablet.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the fundamentals of why things work the way they do, and why organizations are the way they are. Inevitably, these thoughts take me back to the very heart of what motivates individual human beings: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
After we’ve covered the basics for survival (the first two tiers) we get immediately to belonging. Sinek’s supposition is that each of these shooters are missing this basic component in their lives, and that if we, as leaders, would make it our mission to help give people a sense of belonging, we could do a lot to limit the instances of these shootings.
Honestly, out of all of the years of speculation I’ve heard on the matter, it makes the most sense to me. The next question becomes, how do you do that? What’s that look like in practice? What’s that look like in the work place? In our communities? Is it even possible in modern communities? Do we, as Student Housing providers, have a responsibility to help connect our Residents to one another – to REALLY make that passionate aspect of our operations and not just say we’re covering that by throwing pool parties every other month?
I don’t know the answers to any of these but I have some thoughts.
Check out Sinek’s theory in the clip below and if you have any ideas about creating a sense of belonging in our schools or our communities, let me know in the comments.
Robert H Myers 
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